“You’re perfect, I couldn’t have wished for a better daughter than you.”
I have been the perfect daughter for all of my nineteen years. Doing everything to make sure that I save face for me and my family. Dressing perfectly, speaking perfectly, acting perfectly. My life has been one perfect execution after another. The words reflect the lie that I’ve upheld for my family, but they don’t reflect me. My mother doesn’t know who the true me is, but soon she would. And I wonder if I will still be her perfect daughter.
“I can’t wait for you to come home, I already have a few suiters for you to marry.” She gushes.
“It’s a little early for that, Niang,” I say to her, never Ma like other Orcish people would.
“Yes, better to plan early than throw it together last minute. I need a lot of time to sift through them so that we can have the best picked for you.”
“Niang, Don’t worry about it. I won’t be out of school for a couple of years.” I try to convince her. I’ve tried doing that for most of my life to no avail.
“Nonsense, I should have someone for you when you come back on your break.” She says, completely dismissing anything I say.
“Very well, Niang,” I say politely. I must maintain the image of perfection, even though I know this won’t work out.
“I will leave you to your studies. Remember, The Zhao family will except nothing but excellence.”
“Shi de,” I say, nodding my head, knowing she can’t see me.
“Wo ai ni, Shufen,” She says.
“I love you too, Niang,” I say. Once I hear the kiss, I tap the end button on the phone and toss the phone on the other side of the desk. I look at it as it slides and rests in a crooked slant next to my computer monitors. Amidst the two monitors, papers, and stacks of my textbooks, it was the one thing that was not… perfect. This lie that I keep up creeps into my life still, even though Niang and Die are not here. I glance over my wooden desk and see all the figures and stickers I have placed all around, every one of them perfect. I reach for the phone to straighten it, but my mind settles on leaving it.
One small act of rebellion. Just like dripping water, enough of it can cut stone. If I continue with my own little drops, the lie will fade, and my true self will be free.
My hand outstretched I look at the black nail polish that decorates my fingers, the bangles and bracelets I’ve acquired from my time here. I look up at the video of my favorite punk band that was only on pause due to Niang calling in. I put my headphones back on and tap space on my keyboard to get the music back going.
Rocking out to the music, I go back to my studies. Along with the impending doom of going home to my parents in a week, I have finals. I am also careful to not wake my…
“You didn’t tell her that you have a girlfriend again.” Kira, my beautiful Drow girlfriend, says.
“How would you know? You don’t speak Orcish.” I say, leaning my head back, letting my long jet black hair fall, to watch her throw back the covers and get out of bed. Walking to me, her beautiful legs and amazingly toned body shows. Ripped with her blue skin wearing nothing but boy shorts and a tee-shirt, she says.
“You know I speak perfect Orcish,” she says in my mother tongue.
How a fighter of her caliber walks with such grace is beyond me. Sure, her gait is more fit for someone who’s been in a fight or two, but her movements still mesmerize, even after dating her for more than a year. I watch the way of her hips sway and the fluidity of her steps as she makes her way to me. She takes her hand and gets a fistful of my hair and pulls my head more so that she can arch over and place a kiss on my lips. Her soft hair tickles my checks as her sliver hair drapes past my shoulders. I reach up and pull her more into my kiss as I kiss her back and part her lips. Morning breath or not, I could not get enough of her.
My soft moans spark her to wrap her arms around my chest and lean into our embrace. The more she gives, the tighter my grip on her hair and subsequently, her grip on mine. Her thick full lips press into mine, and her athletically toned arms feel amazing, holding me tight. I hear her chuckle in between breaths. Her hands begin to trace the exposed green skin where my PJ shirt stops, and before the matching shorts start.
“Don’t you have to study?” She says, slipping past the elastic and reaching my thigh. My legs instinctual part for her, giving her easier access, and I reach up to kiss at her neck.
“Sure do, but maybe it’s time for a break?” I say, bitting at her neck now.
“So, since you’re taking a break,” she says, urging ever closer to my pearl, “You have time to talk.”
“Dui,” I say and let out a heavy pant while her hand is but a frog’s hair from my center. Rubbing the border of my thigh and core.
“So why did you not tell your mother about me again?” She says and starts to move her hand back up to my stomach. I quickly move my hand from her hair to her hand and try to push it back down.
“Kira, this is so not fair. I will tell her.” I know I am not stronger than her, but she lets me believe that I pushed it back down, but stops just before the crevice.
“Before I show up next week?”
“Yes, whatever you want, babe,” I say, trying to kiss her more. She pulls away.
“I want a promise.” She says, stopping and moving her hand back. This time she does not let me push her down. She takes a step back and lets go of my hair. I spin my chair around and get up to go to her, but I know better. I glance her over, and her arms are folded. I’ve made her mad. I hate making her angry.
Kira is the best thing that has happened to me. I can’t have her mad at me. We’ve come too far from our days of her being my martial arts instructor. I had to fight for her then, so I will fight for her now. She’s the only one who lets me be me. I can’t imagine my life without her. I feel a tap on the head.
I must have zoned out again, or Kira’s super quick attacks caught me off guard.
“Stop being overly dramatic.”
“What?!” I show my confusion.
“I know that look. That’s the ‘oh no, I’m going to lose Kira’ look. Babe, I’m not going to leave you over something so trivial. Yes, I want you to promise me that you will tell your parents about me before I show up, but if you don’t, I understand. You’ve had a very abusive childhood. It’s not easy to go against that.”
“I was not abused?” another tap. “Ouch!”
“Stop overacting,” we both giggle. “Luv, it doesn’t matter that you were not physically abused. You were mentally abused. You were a thing to your parents. Not a person. You were to be seen and not heard. That’s still abuse, my dear. Look at it this way. If you weren’t abused, why are you so afraid of telling your parents that you are a lesbian?”
“You’re right, Baobei,” I close my eyes and stand on my toes and give her my cute kissy face. I hear her giggle, and then feel her hand grab my lower jaw and bring her to my face. She gives me a peck.
“I know Xiao Niao.” I frown up and motion for more kissing.
“I am not a little bird,” I say and wrap my arms around her. She picks me up and sits me on the desk as she gives me more pecks.
“You’re my Xiao Niao. My little bird that I freed from her cage. And the mischievous little bird that nabbed my heart.” I smile at this.
“I could always give it back… ai ya!” I bit out and hiss as she bites my neck and grips into my thighs. A Shock goes through my entire body, and my body arches to her.
“What did you just say to me?” She says, as her hands go down the small of my back and pull me into her, I can feel her heat as mine flares up. Her tongue dulls my wit and heightens my senses as she makes small circles on my neck, and flashes of her skill on me in other places invade my senses.
“I said whatever you want me to say.” I spit out, wrapping both my arms and legs around her in a lock. My hands try to get underneath her shirt, but she beats me to it. Her mouth’s heat creates an explosion of heat through my stomach, and surrounding areas as her kissing and other things start at my belly button and make its way up. As my breast perk in anticipation, I feel the cloth of my shirt cling back to my skin after she removes her head from me.
“Get back to your studies. I have to get to work.” She says, backing away from me. I reach inside me and activate my Qi and try to pull her back. She starts hers and makes herself harder to move. This was our thing.
We are both monks, but we both use our Qi in different ways. I allow my Qi to power my mind, giving me extra senses and access to affect the Qi around me and other users and people in general. She uses her Qi to power her body and makes her stronger, faster, and she can also weaponize it.
So we get into these stalemates where I can’t move her, but she can’t get away from me. They usually end with her winning due to her being older and more experienced than me. That and her Drow physiology makes her naturally more robust than me. Part of the reasons I fell in love with her. It was hard for me to say no to this beautiful, older, Drow woman.
I’ve known my whole life that I was not suited to date men. I just never felt a connection or attraction to them. Knowing this didn’t matter, I know my family would never allow this. The Zhao house has to be the picture of perfection in the Orcish community. We are de-tuskers, a wave of more civilized Orcs that threw away our nomad culture. We live by the teaching of Kong Zi, but he never said that couples can’t be in love with the same sex. Just that we owe our parents a child and our child a great family home.
That we could do. I turn off my Qi, and just lean in and hug Kira. I feel her arm go up and down my back. For a hardened Drow warrior who is the next in line to lead her house, she was very supportive. Well, she was supportive for anyone. Kira was nothing that I thought she would be in a relationship. I half expected her to string me along and play with my heart. It has been said that the Drow don’t hold meaningful relationships if it’s not their race or The Talons. Kira was different. I let her go and look in her eyes.
“Wo ai ni, Baobei,” I say, feeling a loving warmth and showing it in my smile.
“I love you too, Xiao.” She says, giving me one last peck before making her way to the bathroom to get in the shower like she does every morning.
“Thank you for really loving me,” I say, nearly regretting saying it. Kira stops dead and turns back to me. Getting nose to nose with me, she kisses me again with enough passion to fill me for a lifetime. When our lips part. She says.
“No worries, Luv, Thanks for loving an old woman like me.” I furrow at her.
“You’re not old, you’re only twenty-six.”
“That’s a seven-year gap, Luv. Many boys and girls your age don’t get into women my age until you’re a little older.”
“Well, good, I’m glad I got you and no one else.”
“Right, me too, Luv.” She says and strokes the side of my face with her palm. I like that she always looked at me like I was something special. Luckily she can’t read minds. If she knew, I thought that I would get scolded. She hated that I called my self something, not someone. To her, I was someone special. Just as she was to me.
Breaking our embrace, she goes into the bathroom, and I can hear the water start to run. I decide that I should do my duties as her girlfriend and help her get ready now that she’s up. I go to the closet, pull her down a clean and fresh Kung Fu Gi, fold it, and place it on the TV’s dresser and underwear and other essentials. I make up the bed and open the curtains, letting light pour into our apartment that gives life to the little space we call our own.
After doing a little straightening of things, I head to the kitchen and start-up our personal cup coffee maker—a gift from a friend for our anniversary. I open the personal cup and place half mocha half and half french roast just as she likes. After placing the cup in the well, I put her favorite travel mug under the spigot and hit brew.
I start preparing her breakfast, getting the rice, and putting it in the rice cooker. I pull out eggs, mushrooms, and green onions. After hitting the water to start the rinse, I put on my music and get going. I work fast to the sounds of alternative rock and get everything chopped and whisked.
Around this time, I can hear the water stop, and my timing couldn’t be better. The Wok is hot, and I have just placed the eggs in and started scrambling. Once they are good and cooked, I add the tomatoes, mushrooms, and green onions with the other seasonings. The Rice maker is nearing completion, and while the breakfast is on the simmering process, I grab her Tupperware and start to add her snacks and prep for her main course.
My nose and skills tell me the food is done, and I neatly place the bed of rice down first and then add the goodness of the eggs and tomatoes on top. I give her a small cup of sesame oil and her favorite chopsticks. I place everything into her lunch box then make my own bowl of breakfast.
“You know, I’ve finally excepted that I’m spoiled,” Kira says, walking around the corner to the kitchen in her Gi.
“Oh, now you do,” I giggle and kiss her.
“Hey, better late than never. Thanks, Xiao, I’ll see you after work.” She takes her lunch box and checks her backpack for her phone and keys. Yep, I put those in there too. She gives me one last kiss before going out the door.
With her now gone, I was free of distractions and could get some studying done. The growl of my stomach had other plans. Don’t worry, I’ll feed you right after the dishes. I work my way through my chores and then make the time to get some food into me. Once I was done and ready to resume my studies, I make my way back to my desk. With Kira out of the apartment, I unplug my headphones and let my music ring out.
Once I sit down, I look at my computer screen, and the butterflies from my first kiss with Kira is back. She changed my computer wallpaper with the caption. “Happy Anniversary.” There is a note on the desk. “I know it’s late, but you never leave your computer unlocked, dork.
I shoot her the first of many texts she will get today.
“You’re the best!” I send with a smiley face. Her response is quick.
“You bring it out of me, Luv.”
I will marry this woman if it’s the last thing I do.
“You’re perfect, I couldn’t have wished for a better daughter than you.”